The Camp(Pain) Spot

I was left speechless, if you'll pardon the expression coming from me.

And frankly, I couldn't believe it...of course I'd heard the stories, how as the "Maverick" he was the darling of the left wing media, (Ed. - removed some of the text 'cause re-reading this morning makes the post seem harsher than I actually intended. Sorry about that.) but until this happened, I thought it was just the usual political noise. So it pains me to share the following....

I'd gone to visit the Mom at her training camp earlier today in the Flagstaff area of our great state of Arizona, when:

Click on the photo series to see in full size the dishonor heaped upon my head by the usual suspects.

I just wanna say:

HEY!!! I couldn't believe it!
Hit somebody in the face with a
slushball. Let all that stuff go down in
their underwear.

And I didn't even care. I just sat right
down in the snow. I was so mad. And
it started to melt right thorough my four
pair of corduroys. And I didn't even
care. Because I know when I go home
the only thing my mom's gonna be talking
about:

"You, Sammy! How come you just sit
down in the snow and let it just melt
through your four pair of corduroys?"

"Yeah mom? Well what do you care?
That's all you care about, somebody
sitting down in the snow and letting it
melt through your four pair of
corduroys.

You don't care that Obama and McCain
hit me on the side of the face
with a slushball and let all the gunk go
down in my underwear because if you
did care you'd go out and get him!"

But I’m gonna get you both.
Come November 2010 and 2012,
you both better just watch out!

Paid for by the concerned citizens for inappropriate hi-jinks, Sam! for Senate, Committee.

With apologies to Bill Cosby, for ripping off his skit, and to John McCain, who I "admire" with all my heart...

The Campaign Spot

Sam knows that we all face difficulties during this economic downturn. But he doesn't believe that a larger, more intrusive government is the answer to these problems.

Sam has contained cost overruns within his home district for the last three consecutive quarters by reducing his reliance on store bought treats, and by taking walks within his own neighborhood, rather than driving to more distant parks. Sam feels that this kind of "out of the beltway" thinking is desperately needed in Washington.

A recent poll in his home district shows a 100% approval rating among all likely household voters. He also garners high praise for another of his major campaign issues, the Shuffling Undead:


His position is clear:

"It's time for the voice of common sense to be heard! Send me to Washington so that I can chase the Zombies out!"


Paid for by the concerned citizens for zombie containment, "Sam! for Senate" committee.

The Campaign Spot

The first plank in Sam’s platform:

Here in Arizona it’s well known that the one of the fiercest “hot button” issues in the political sphere regards securing the southern border and enforcing our immigration laws. However, there’s been no discussion at all about a much deeper and insidious form of discrimination that occurs each and every hour of the day. I’m speaking of course about Canine discrimination. Canine citizens in Arizona, and indeed across the country, are denied basic access to their people’s places of work, restaurants and grocery stores. This must end! If elected, I plan to introduce legislation that will prohibit the anti-dog policies so prevalent in our society.

Send me to the US Senate, and send a message to all those who would deny us our right to roam freely wherever our people are!

Paid for by the concerned citizens for canine rights, "Sam! for Senate" committee.